There is plenty written about how to be the perfect bride or groom, however, as most people will attend at least half a dozen weddings in their lifetime, shouldn’t we be asking “how to be the perfect wedding guest” instead?

Weddings are a fantastic cause for celebration, and Aussies do tend to enjoy a party! If you want to be invited back for housewarmings, baby showers and the like, we suggest you follow a few simple rules and put your best foot forward as the perfect guest.

Firstly, when you are invited to a wedding, pick up the phone and say thank you. If you are unable to attend, make sure you send your RSVP as soon as you know, as weddings are a numbers game. Costs are based per head mostly and your attendance is worth, approximately $300 (when you take into account invitations, venue hire, reception food and drink, etc). So if you can’t make it, send your apologies well before the RSVP date.

If you will be attending the wedding, get in early with your RSVP on time. Book any travel details so that you don’t cause last minute problems. Notify the bride of any special requirements such as dietary restrictions or needing wheelchair access. And if you are invited to bring a partner, let the bride and groom know his name (ideally introduce him to the couple before the big day).

Gathering of friends

Now, on the day – there are a few easy do’s and don’ts:

DO

• Arrive to the ceremony on time          – it’s the bride’s prerogative to be up to 20 mins late, no one else’s!
• Dress appropriately          – the code of dress on the invitation is there for a reason…. & don’t upstage the bride!
• Partake in the ceremony graciously   – regardless of your religious or political preferences.
• Introduce yourself          -especially to the host (i.e. whoever’s paying for you to be there)
• Say your thank-you’s and good-bye’s before you leave the event

DON’T

• Turn up drunk        – to any of the celebrations, EVER
• Get stupidly drunk        – save it for the bucks or hens
• Act like it’s a high school reunion –     it’s a day for family AND friends so be respectful.
• Bitch about where you sit       – it probably took the couple ages to put the seating plan together. It’s only for a few hours anyway.
• Talk through the speeches     – no matter how tedious they are
• Leave straight after dessert    –  traditionally the bride and groom should be the first to leave, however this is not always the case.

GIFTS : you may wish to give the couple a gift even if you aren’t going to the wedding. If you are attending the wedding, the options normally are: buying off a gift registry, giving to a wishing well or honeymoon registry (so the couple can afford that trip to the Maldives) or donating to a charity that the couple have nominated (a very eco-sensitive move these days). The rule of thumb for spending on a couple, is for it to be the same amount as a nice dinner for two including wine (so about $120- $150).

Guide to gift giving

Lastly, after it’s all over and your Jimmy Choo’s are put away till the next soiree, don’t forget to write your thank-you letter. Traditionally sent to the persons who paid for the wedding such as the parents, you may wish to modernize and send one to the couple, as well as both sets of parents. If you just can’t extend yourself to hand-writing a card or note (emails are OUT) then pick up the phone, at least. Remember, its all about good manners.

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Well, a small component of the wedding it might be, but the bridal car is hugely important for most brides.

Apart from making a dramatic entrance on the most important day of your life, arriving in a beautiful shiny car with that crisp white ribbon tied to the bonnet also signifies the delivery of the bride safely into the hands of her new husband to be.

Travelling from the place of getting ready, usually with her father or person “giving her away”, it’s the brides last single moments. Traditionally the bridesmaids and mother of the bride travel in a second and third bridal car if needed. The groom and his groomsmen usually make their own way to the ceremony.

So what do bridal cars cost, what’s involved and can’t my rich uncle just drop me off in his Jag??

Bridal Cars can cost anything from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand, so shop around. However you might want to avoid breaking down in the middle of Saturday afternoon traffic on the way to the church, so perhaps spending a bit more on a quality provider is advisable.

Some cars restrict eating and drinking inside (such as vintage classics) and others encourage a little celebration on the way – most Limousines are equipped with champagne buckets, flutes and will provide ice and even the champagne at a cost. Just enquire as to what you can and can’t do.

Who pays? Traditionally it’s the grooms side who pays for all the transport, however these days there are no set rules. Generally car companies require a deposit and to be paid the remainder on or before the day. Most providers will charge by the hour, so don’t forget transfers between venues, photos and potential stops on the way all add up.

Which Colour? Black use to be the preferred colour until the 70’s when white became the colour of preference. Some brides prefer bright colours (pink Cadillac anyone?) however keep in mind that the car will be in some of the wedding shots, so will need to complement your wedding dress.

Timing? Always leave enough time for getting in and out of the car (more difficult than you expect, with all that dress!) and definitely allow time for traffic problems. Whilst it’s expected that the bride will be up to 40 mins late to the church, any more than that leaves guests fidgety, thirsty and irked.

Use the Boot! Don’t forget you have spare space in the boot, so pack your emergency bridal kit, and if the car company allows, an esky with ice and bubbly for the festivities. If you haven’t eaten all day, throw in a few snacks so that you don’t arrive at the church faint and feeble.

TIP:  Throw in a water spray bottle to keep bouquets fresh and an umbrella in case of rain.

Now about that rich Uncle and his Jag…. as helpful as he might think he is being, it’s actually a huge ask of someone to transport the bride and her bridal party, safely from home to church to wedding reception, without a glitch. My uncle did this for me at my wedding, and after it he was a nervous wreck – the pressure to be at the right place at the right time, without crashing or breaking down was enormous. So best advice – just let the professionals do it.

PLAN IT RIGHT: Use Marziplanner’s Task List for the best help in organising your bridal cars – and budget for it in the Budget Section

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Stunning Hayman Island

I am off to Hayman Island this weekend for a long overdue R&R break with a girlfriend. Still a favourite for weddings and honeymoons, it is one of the luxury island venues in Qld’s Whitsundy’s catering to couples. My honeymoon four years ago was at Palm Cove and Port Douglas  and I still maintain that the time saved in getting there, plus the affordability of spending in Aussie dollars, made it a fantastic way to celebrate being newly married – far outweighing the “exotic-ness” of going overseas.

So – back to honeymoons. I tried on a swimsuit today for this weekend – I am SO surprised at the price of swimmers! Over $200 for most good quality pieces – ouch!! What happened to a cute 2-piece for $70??? And how come guys can get a groovy pair of togs for under $50? I think women’s swimsuit fabric must be more expensive per square centimeter than hand-spun silk! So I got a fabulous Jets one-piece (as is appropriate when you pass the 35 year & motherhood mark) for half price at $100. Bargain.

Elegant Jets One-pieces

What are the essentials to plan for on your honeymoon? Well the most comprehensive list I found was at The Knot – so forgive the Americanism’s but I could not have provided a more thorough list if I tried!

And my wish-list of Queensland honeymoon destinations? If I were to do it all again….

1. Bedarra Island : $7,248 for a Villa, 4 nights includes food, alcohol and activities

2. Lizard Island :  $7,072 for a Sunset Point Villa, 4 nights includes food, alcohol and activities

3. Silky Oaks Lodge, Daintree : $2,032 for a Tree House, 4 nights includes breakfast

4. Qualia Resort Hamilton Island : $6,600 for a Windward Pavilion, 4 nights includes meals and non-alcoholic drinks

5. Peppers Palm Bay : $4,267 for the new  Hemingway Suite, 4 nights includes breakfast & dinner, transfers and Spa Treatment.

Of course you can find honeymoon destinations for all budgets. North Queensland is an easy few hours from Eastern airports, and with temperate sunny weather mostly all year round, it really is a great honeymoon destination. And not just because I’m a Queenslander!!

Beach weddingmoon

Just watch out for the stingers! Jellyfish season is during the wet season – October till April.

Traditionally it’s the groom who plans and pays for the honeymoon – just make sure he knows what he’s doing!

HAPPY PLANNING!

Ilka Brookes, Marziplanner

* Bride to Be Cost of Love Survey 2008

Let’s look at what May means in terms of weddings.

1. Birthstone

Vintage Emerald Ring

The birthstone for May is the Emerald – a divine stone – now making a comeback as vintage engagement rings appeal to brides without the diamond budget.

Visit some vintage jewellery stores or see if your mother has one she can hand down. Get it re-sized and cleaned and voila! You have an heirloom at much less cost of a diamond engagement ring, and much more sentimental value!

2. Flowers

Tulip, Hyacinth, Lavender & Lily  are just some of the flower varieties in season late Autumn.

Pretty Tulips are a May flower

Tulip colours symbolise different things – yellow means cheerful thoughts, white conveys forgiveness and purple represents royalty. Red tulips signify “perfect love”.  Overall, Tulips are an elegant and graceful flower, and are also the flower to give on your 11th wedding anniversary.

Tulips make for a chic and simple arrangement, and need wiring for a long bouquet. Usually available in many colours, Tulips can offer the flexibility of suiting your colour scheme of your wedding.

3. Mother of the Bride

Mother of the Bride

The 10th of May is Mother’s Day this year. Celebrate the power of love that mother’s have for their daughters by remembering your mum next weekend.

Some ideas and events near you:

Sydney – Mother’s Day Royal Picnic : EQ Village Markets Randwick

Melbourne – Mother’s Day High Tea at the Sofitel Hotel

Brisbane – Mother’s Day Classic Fun Run for Breast Cancer

Perth – Mother’s Day special Pamper Package Revive Day Spa

Adelaide – Mother’s Day Tribute Killara Estate Winery Yarra Valley

Hobart – Art and lunch at the Henry Jones Art Hotel

Holding the Purse-strings

Whilst we are on the subject of mothers and parents, many brides wonder who is meant to pay for what at the wedding? With the average Australian wedding now costing a whopping $49,202* it’s a major financial comittment and the difficult question of who pays for what will come up at some stage.

Below is a general guide of how costs are traditionally split up.

Bride/ Bride’s family pays for:

• Stationery
• Wedding gown, shoes, accessories
• Bridesmaids events and gifts
• Grooms wedding ring
• Flowers & decorations
• Ceremony Fees
• Reception venue, catering, music and hire
• Photography

Groom / Grooms family pays for

• Engagement party
• Grooms’ attire
• Groomsmens’ gifts / events
• Bride’s engagement & wedding rings
• Marriage Certificate and Officiant fees
• Rehearsal dinner
• Reception alcohol / drinks
• Honeymoon

So, best get started on your budget! Use Marziplanner’s clever budget planning section  – download your free trial now if you haven’t already. DOWNLOAD NOW

HAPPY PLANNING

Ilka Brookes, Marziplanner

*Source: bride to Be Cost of Love Survey 2008

Image source: Tea Rose

This weeks blog is all about Easter, events, and chocolates! Let’s start with the best one …chocolate!

Often the easiest type of Bonbonerie to give wedding guests is chocolate. The food of love, and universally loved, chocolate favors can come in a wide range of ideas to suit any budget. At this time of year too, heat is not normally such an issue, so small gift bags of chocolate treats should last on the wedding day.

Simon Johnson Gull Eggs

“Forget Love, I’d rather fall in Chocolate.”

Our fave pick for Easter-themed gifts? Simon Johnson Gull Eggs. Crisp shelled eggs filled with meltingly good chocolate hazelnut ganache. SO pretty! $18.75 for 150gm.

Another simple idea (and less expensive) are mini Lindt Easter balls at each guests setting. Match the colour to your theme (blue, red, gold or white) and even get them online at Woolworths for $5.98 per 160gm bag, SO easy!

And for the true chocaholic? The ultimate gift for your chief bridesmaid…. Chocolate Fondue & Martinis for Two at The Victoria Room, Sydney. Wicked decadence at just $66 available at Red Balloon Days. SO naughty!

So with your sweet tooth sated, onto some more practical advice for an event over Easter. A few tips to keep in mind:

• Remember travel headaches… getting to and from airports and roads are a nightmare. Leave early!
• Most restaurants and venues charge extra for service on public holidays and Sundays – Easter Sunday is an expensive day to have a wedding reception.
• Have a wet-weather plan. Is there somewhere close by under cover? Can you hire a marquee as a backup? Is there easy access to and from the venue if it’s raining and muddy? Have a stash of umbrellas handy.
• Remember there are bans on selling alcohol on Good Friday and Easter Sunday so check that you have enough supplies.
• Get on top of your wedding planning! With a 4-day weekend ahead you can really sort out your Guest List and Task List. Check out how Marziplanner’s easy software works and get your free trial now.

Okay, back to that bag of MM’s for me.  Have a great week!

Ilka

Be prepared for wet wedding day

Doing up the back of my wedding gown

Stories emerged in 2008 of brides wearing their wedding dress and jumping off jetties into the ocean, running through fields of mud in the country, setting it on fire or shredding it with scissors just for the sake of “closure” or not having to worry about storing it for the next 30 years. Originally an idea by a Sydney photographer, it was yet another photo shoot opportunity for the newly married couple to fork out for, the premise being that “you are not going to get married again and this is a symbol of the commitment” (news.com.au).

Sure – I spent more than I should have on my gown, and now it sits in a box, tightly vacuum sealed after wearing it that one day in October, 2005. Apart from hoping that one day my daughter might wear it on her wedding day, or even use the fabric, my view is that in the current age of eco-sensitivity trashing your wedding dress is wasteful and distasteful.

Here are some ideas for what to do with your bridal gown after the wedding:

• Sell it. There are heaps of websites that let you upload an image of the dress with a description to sell (they keep a % fee or registration fee)
• Rent it out. Again, search online for relevant sites
• Keep it for posterity. Just make sure it is cleaned then stored correctly – away from moisture and preferably vacuum sealed
• Donate it to a charity like St Vincents
• Sell it to a pre-loved clothing store
• Donate it to a secondary school or local theatre for their drama props department
• Disassemble it and get crafty with the fabric. Find patterns for clutch handbags at Lincraft
• Give it to a bridal business near you – they might put it in their front window!
• Have it pressed flat and then framed to hang on a bedroom wall